The Sexuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, making love brings tremendous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to incredibly hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and article strong , leading to powerful sensations of destination, excitement, love, nearness, and wellness .

However when look at this site problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They probably would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urban areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

However, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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