The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, making love brings tremendous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to incredibly tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

But Resources when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in city areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all click to find out more those exciting sparks!

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