The Intimacy Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective feelings of destination, excitement, nearness, wellness, and love .

However when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that read what he said many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in urban locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with navigate here your head. check these guys out This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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